Month: February 2017

Please everyone. I would be amiss if I didn’t write a little about your home and fire safety.

PLAN YOUR ESCAPE
We learned that fire is silent and quick.  Planning your escape and letting everyone know how and where to meet is important.

The National Fire Protection Agency offers lots of information and downloadable PDF’s.

ADD FIRE EXTINGUISHERS and FIRE ALARMS
Check and add fire extinguishers and fire alarms to your home. We have learned how quickly a fire can spread, and how dangerous the smoke can be.  In 15 minutes our entire home was in flames, and smoke levels consumed way before that time frame. You only have moments. Fire alarms save lives. Check the batteries, and set up dates. Test the smoke alarm monthly and change the batteries every year. Do it on a date that you will remember, labor day or a birthday.

SAFETY
Check your home for safety Here is a list from Parents Magazine 

SAFETY AND CHILDREN
Teach your children, even very young children about fire safety. Our granddaughter had a visit from a fire department just a few weeks before the event.  Start one in your school or civic organization. Or at the very least check out the resources on Fire facts .org.  They offer resources for kids parents and educators.  

PLAN YOUR PURCHASES WITH SAFETY IN MIND
The fire took the house, and what the fire did not take smoke and water did take. It was interesting that much of the antique hardwood furniture survived.  They are cleaning some of the pieces.  This article in Today  says that “Research shows that 30 years ago, you had about 17 minutes to escape a house fire. Today it’s down to 3 or 4 minutes. The reason: Newer homes and the furniture inside them burn faster. A lot faster.

RECOVERING FROM A FIRE
We know how difficult it can be to recover from this emotional disaster.  The American Psychological Association has put together a wonderful resource for those hurting.

We also could not have done this without the support of family and professionals.  Seek help; it will go a long way to making things move forward at a time when you feel stuck and can’t breathe.

CHILDREN’S MENTAL HEALTH AFTER A FIRE
Don’t forget your children. This trauma influences all family members. You may need to find help for your children. Ours was three at the time. We are busy taking care of things and sometimes forget that our little one can’t process everything or know how to share. She is also in counseling. Know the signs and help the little ones. Here are some resources about Children and Fire

From the National Child Traumatic Stress Network

RJ the fire dogs blog has some good suggestions

This blog and video by Samantha Pekh, M.A., Registered Psychologist shares thoughts and suggestions for helping you child through the trauma of a house fire.

 

“Look at me, Look at me.” She lovingly insists.

“Breath, breath. In and out.” Her breath encourages his own.

He looks up, away up away, toes flick fingers twitch, I watch him as the memories, the horror, and the insecurities tug on his soul, pull him away.

She is patient, but where is her pain? How does this not make her feel worse, sink into her own vortex? I watch love and strength in action.

The next night she walks in with a twisted ankle. The pain is excruciating.

She sobs, it is just too much. She had just replaced her running shoes that were lost in the fire. She was going to take control of her life with running and then there was this.

“Look at me.” He insists kneeling before her face in a similar position as she was in front of him just the night before. “ The pain is exacerbated by the trauma. I got you; you got this. You are strong.” This time I’m in their bed scratching my daughter’s back, stroking her hair as I did when she was little. He in front of her, me behind her we have her cradled in love.

We are growing stronger than fire every day.

I’m so glad they are here in my home where I can help.

Breathing in and breathing out
Pusche

The kids have found a rent house with a pool. It is right around the corner from their house.  The insurance company pays for them to be there, furnishes the entire home right down to the sheets and gets them in there.  They have signed an application, and the home becomes available after the third of March. I don’t want them to go. They have been living with me since the fire.  I know they may need to go or feel ready to go, but I feel we are all just so fragile, even myself. Last night I held my daughter as she cried. “I don’t want to list everything in my life, everything I worked so hard for. It is hard to list it and hard to be reminded that it is gone. I want this over. I don’t want to finish this because then they will bulldoze my house.” I held her on the couch, stroked her hair while she cried, and answered a text from her husband who was alone in the room next door to the living room. He was having a hard time being alone for a few minutes because of his trauma.

How do I help her? I have made her comfortable. I wish I could go through the list for her. What could I add to a target wish list? She asked. “I think of my food processor, and I don’t know what size or capacity it was. I just know it was a perfect size and when I think of it, I see the image of it burned up and sitting on my counter. ”

My heart breaks for the darkness that tries to seep into the lives of two loving hearts through a disaster. If they were children, I could rock them and hold them tight and say I’m here everything will be o.k. What do I do with grown-ups? I can’t take the pain away, I have to stand back and watch them go through it, I watch it try to sneak up as it nibbles away at their normal, their sanity, and I pray and remind them to look at all the good that is happening around them. There are miracles everywhere. They can’t see them through the haze.

I make a thanking God for, poster and put it on my fridge. I tell the kids and ask them to add to it. Instead, later they request poster board and sit together finding their blessings. You have to hold on to those as the devastation can steal everything, if you allow it.

Sometimes you breath for others when they cannot.
Pusche