The name of this blog is breathing in life. I find it interesting that so many people take for granted breath. The average person breathes about 23,000 breaths in a day. For someone with lung problems who struggles for each breath, that is a lot of struggle. I’m beginning my journey of dealing with Interstitial Lung Disease (ILD). I don’t know what to expect, but I know it is a progressive illness. I can’t imagine what it will be like to struggle more and more throughout my life for breath. I can’t imagine what it is like to be at a point where you fight and then hope, as you struggle, for a lung transplant. I do know how frustrating it is when someone tells me that I just need to take a deep breath or try some newfangled way of breathing.
If I let myself think of my future with ILD, I get scared. There is no time line that says, on this date you will not be able to breathe and will then be able to “qualify” for a lung transplant. I hate the idea of living life suffocating.
The only thing I know to do is to take care of myself in the absolute best way I can, and if possible try to set myself up for a time when my activities will be more limited. Until that time, I’m trying to eat well and exercise daily.
That thought of exercising daily sometimes feels boring, and so I have to mix things up. However, while exercising and searching for various videos, I came upon this video. At around 2:40 in the video she talks about a downward spiral. “Breathlessness means you do less, which means you become weaker, you get flare-ups of your lung disease, you end up in hospital, you become weaker and panicky, and the spiral continues. ”
The point is, the only thing I can control in this is trying not to let weakness take over my life. The weakness is a strange thing. I work out almost every day. You would think by doing this should be very strong, and yet, going up 3 flight of stairs will make me gasp for breath, even with oxygen. I can continuously feel myself trying to stay ahead of this curve. I don’t think about how unfair it is or feels. I keep reminding myself to do this. It is no longer a lifestyle change it is a way to stay alive and living a productive life. I tell myself, “Modify or change exercise as you have to, but do it. ”
Psuche