Watering my garden with tears this morning.
Today I woke up and discovered on Facebook that a friend of mine from my plant swap passed away. She was not only an incredible gardener but a crazy creative person creating Barbie Doll windchimes combined with found objects from the beach and bottle trees and so much more. Her home burned a few years ago, and we shared that misery talking about my daughter’s house fire at the last plant swap. She was a nurse. Her last post on Facebook is about how the allergies are killing her. The pollen count is high, and I even took allergy meds yesterday. She was alone when it happened. I don’t know, but I heard she could not breathe. My heart is broken. Somehow my life feels so much more vulnerable knowing that this woman can be taken.
I have been waiting for a time for my lawyer to go over the final papers she has sent. She has postponed twice. I just can’t have something like this happen and leave my daughter in a legal mess. I woke up and decided that having something is better than having nothing, so this weekend I vow to get all the legal papers signed, notarized and copied.
This entire thing is so tricky. I’m going without oxygen but started coughing terribly last night. I appear to be o.k. one minute and then a couple hours later I feel pain. I really have no idea what my body is trying to tell me.
A cousin contacted me via Facebook and asked if I knew the medical history of the family. Medical history—it is such a strange thing. How do you ask siblings, and sometimes family strangers about their most private things? But that is what I am doing. My cousin was specifically curious about her heart. Monday I go for my stress and heart tests. Each test I feel apprehension, but elated with positive results or sometimes at least answers to questions.
With the death of this friend, I feel so vulnerable. I’m focusing on health and life, but it is time to get these legal affairs in order. I feel that death is playing a game of hide-go-seek and wants to pop out at any moment and say boo.
Plant things, make life, share, and create crazy things. Life is short no matter how long you live. Eat it up like a six-year-old child savoring a chocolate shake at the best diner with your dad.
Pusche